I recently got a zoo membership for my birthday which gives me unlimited access to both the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park for the next year. Most of you know that the San Diego Zoo is one of the best in the world, especially because it’s one of the few zoos that have pandas! Walking around both of these zoos over the past month has really helped me remember why the zoo is one of the best places you can go. With all PETA comments aside, here are some of the reasons I think the zoo is the best.
You Get To See Animals From Around the World
If you’re anything like me, traveling around the world sounds amazing but you can’t afford it. Going to the zoo is a great way to travel the world without actually traveling very far. As much as I would like to visit Kenya and see the beautiful wildlife of Africa, that trip is a little out of reach. The zoo allows for you to learn about all of the different species that live around the world without actually traveling.
Animals Are Hilarious
I spent about 20 minutes watching this baby monkey chase around otters and it was way better than anything you could watch on TV, except maybe Parks & Rec because that show is amazing. I then went on to see a Tapir swing his giant penis around. Seriously, why is that thing as long as his leg? Yes I’m an adult and I laugh at animal genitalia. There was also this human who was taking a selfie with a gorilla taking a crap. The human just so happens to be the funny animal in this circumstance, but you catch my drift. The zoo is filled with entertaining animals.
A Good Reminder That We Need To Take Care of Our Planet
If you don’t recycle, I already think you’re an idiot. Going to the zoo is a friendly reminder that we need to take care of our planet to not only save our species, but the other inhabitants on the planet. I can’t remember the animal, but one of the zoo keepers explained that aluminum cans are made out of aluminum found in this animal’s habitat in the rain forest and by not recycling aluminum (which can continue to be reused forever) it can impact their habitat causing the animals to be killed and lose their homes. It was a friendly reminder of the impact not recycling can cause.
It Reminds Me That Humans Are the Worst
This world is filled with assholes. There is nothing worse than seeing this grown and quite obnoxious man banging on the glass at the gorilla exhibit to get the gorilla to look at him. This man thought he was being funny, but he was really just being an asshole. Please stay home if you’re not going to respect the animals. The other assholes at the zoo included people talking extremely loud and wondering why the bear wouldn’t come out of hiding. Seriously, humans are the worst.
Human Spawn is Also the Worst
SCREAMING KIDS, EVERYWHERE. Just a friendly reminder of why I don’t want kids. I don’t want to be surrounded by parents who don’t know how to get their kids to shut up. I almost congratulated this one parent who spanked her kid on the butt and told him to knock it off. If all parents were like that, I might like kids more. These kids were also disrespectful to the animals (they probably learned it from their parents). Hey kids, screaming at animals won’t make them come out.
It’s Super Educational
One of my favorite parts of the zoo is that it’s educational. I always leave with a little bit more knowledge about animals, their homeland and how I can help preserve this world and the animals in it. It’s also great for taking kids to learn!
The Zoo Serves Alcohol!
I may sound like an alcoholic, but being surrounded by assholes and their loud kids is a lot more tolerable when alcohol is involved. Other perk, the zoo doesn’t check your bags so you can sneak in as much pick-me-up as you need.
There’s no smoking allowed anywhere in the zoo. This is extremely exciting to someone who has grown up with parents who smoke. Nothing gives me as much satisfaction as not being forced to inhale other’s toxins.
Exercise that Doesn’t Suck
Walking on a treadmill is boring as hell; take your walk outside to the zoo where you can look at cute animals, breathe fresh air and climb some hills. The zoo is really just feeding my Fitbit obsession.
Your Zoo Ticket Actually Helps the Animals
Unlike Disneyland, the greediest place you can go to, you know at the zoo that your ticket is going towards the care of the animals inside.
Animals are the Cutest
This is self-explanatory.